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Someday I’ll Cook Lasagna Right©

March 10, 2010

One night I was eating dinner with my dad.  I was single then and really enjoying his cooking.  “Dad, this burrito casserole is delicious!  What was the layer after the burritos?”

“Onions,” he answered.

“Right.  And then next came the…”

“Chiles.”

“Of course!” I responded, taking notes under the table.

By the third recipe he began to get suspicious. 

“So how many cans of soup do you add to the sauce?” I asked.  His fork dropped to his plate.

“Didn’t your mom teach you how to cook?  What recipes do you know?” he demanded.

I paused to think.  There was the barbecue ribs recipe I learned from him the previous month.  Spaghetti seemed easy (although it never tasted quite right.)  Did frozen dinners count?

“What are you going to cook your husband when you get married someday?” he asked.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have ditched collecting an assortment of recipes.  Instead, I would have focused my assault on one front:  lasagna. 

There were clues early on it would be important in our marriage.  The night my husband proposed, I called from work to hear banging and crashing in the background. 

“What are you doing to my apartment?” I asked in alarm.

“Nothing.  You’ll see,” he said.  When I got home the table was set, candles lit, and a homemade meal of lasagna, garlic bread and salad awaited.

That was the last descent lasagna we ever ate.

I didn’t even try to make lasagna the first years of our marriage.  I made the brilliant discovery that everything tasted better fried and our dinners took off down clogged artery boulevard.  That road ended when I gained 20 pounds and my dietician threatened, “You can’t fry foods!  You had better have lost weight by your next appointment!”

The first lasagna I made came from a friend’s recipe.  “It’s so easy!” she said.  “Use no-bake noodles, a little bit of spinach, and lots of sausage.”

I made mine with no-bake noodles (hello cardboard), lots of spinach and a little bit of sausage.

After the first bite my husband said, “Hmm.”

Last summer I found a recipe in the grocery store’s meat department.  I used extra cheese, special sauce I made from scratch and old-fashioned noodles.

After the first bite my husband said, “Hmm.”

Then recently at a play date, a mom shared her recipe for a lasagna dinner everyone asks for.  “It’s so easy!  Use Ragu sauce, brown some meat, dollop cottage cheese and layer with cheddar.”

I strained too much liquid out of the cottage cheese, didn’t have enough mozzarella, and layered meat on top but not sauce.

“Hmm,” my husband said.

My son, for a Kindergartener, is very astute.  He saw a commercial for Stouffer’s lasagna and asked me, “When can we have that for dinner?” 

“Hi, Dad.  So when you make lasagna, what do you use for the first layer?”

©2010, Kim Knuth.  All rights reserved.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Anna permalink
    March 11, 2010 5:08 am

    hahaha i haven’t ever attempted lasagna. havard and jakob just made it last sunday though, havard loves to make it. i guess kids have to learn something from dad, why not it be lasagna!

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